[{"id":8734,"author":"86aa90b0-ea3d-4b17-8ff0-835ec1a7b079","created_at":"2024-09-13T20:46:02.571452+00:00","updated_at":null,"text":"Poor English Signage! 😀","image":"0822670b-f9b4-42b8-b41f-fda263324623.jpg","slug":"poor-english-signage-%f0%9f%98%80","date":"2024-09-14","image_width":334,"image_height":126,"meta_title":"Friday Fun • Poor English Signage! 😀","meta_description":"Poor English Signage! 😀 • Our favourite jokes, funnies, and memes from around the web. Friday Fun","body":"

In the old country (England)the following signs were posted.

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Sign in a London department store:

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BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS

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In an office:

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WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN

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Outside a farm:

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HORSE MANURE 50p PER PRE-PACKED BAG 20p DO-IT-YOURSELF

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In an office:

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AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD

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On a church door:

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THIS IS THE GATE OF HEAVEN. ENTER YE ALL BY THIS DOOR. (THIS DOOR IS KEPT LOCKED BECAUSE OF THE DRAFT. PLEASE USE SIDE DOOR.)

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English sign in a German cafe:

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MOTHERS, PLEASE WASH YOUR HANS BEFORE EATING

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Outside a secondhand shop:

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WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING – BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?

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Sign outside a new town hall which was to be opened by the Prince of Wales:

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THE TOWN HALL IS CLOSED UNTIL OPENING. IT WILL REMAIN CLOSED AFTER BEING OPENED. OPEN TOMORROW.

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Outside a photographer’s studio:

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OUT TO LUNCH: IF NOT BACK BY FIVE, OUT FOR DINNER ALSO

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Seen at the side of a Sussex road:

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SLOW CATTLE CROSSING. NO OVERTAKING FOR THE NEXT 100 YRS.

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Outside a disco:

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SMARTS IS THE MOST EXCLUSIVE DISCO IN TOWN. EVERYONE WELCOME

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Sign warning of quicksand:

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QUICKSAND. ANY PERSON PASSING THIS POINT WILL BE DROWNED. BY ORDER OF THE DISTRICT COUNCIL.

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Notice sent to residents of a Wiltshire parish:

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DUE TO INCREASING PROBLEMS WITH LETTER LOUTS AND VANDALS, WE MUST ASK ANYONE WITH RELATIVES BURIED IN THE GRAVEYARD TO DO THEIR BEST TO KEEP THEM IN ORDER.

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Notice in a dry cleaner’s window:

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ANYONE LEAVING THEIR GARMENTS HERE FOR MORE THAN 30 DAYS WILL BE DISPOSED OF.

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Sign on motorway garage:

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PLEASE DO NOT SMOKE NEAR OUR PETROL PUMPS. YOUR LIFE MAY NOT BE WORTH MUCH BUT OUR PETROL IS.

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Notice in health food shop window:

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CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS

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Spotted in a safari park:

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ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR

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Seen during a conference:

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FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN’T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE FIRST FLOOR

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Notice in a field:

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THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES

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Message on a leaflet:

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IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS

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Sign on a repair shop door:

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WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR – BELL DOESN’T WORK)

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Sign at Norfolk farm gate:

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BEWARE! I SHOOT EVERY TENTH TRESPASSER AND THE NINTH ONE HAS JUST LEFT

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Spotted in a toilet in a London office block:

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TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW.

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