[{"id":9022,"author":"86aa90b0-ea3d-4b17-8ff0-835ec1a7b079","created_at":"2025-03-10T14:51:45.093607+00:00","updated_at":null,"text":"Now you know! 😃","image":"fbefd286-4b2d-43d8-a553-e926c6d7811d.jpg","slug":"now-you-know-%f0%9f%98%83-ssgs5","date":"2025-03-10","image_width":1154,"image_height":1440,"meta_title":"Friday Fun • Now you know! 😃","meta_description":"Now you know! 😃 • Friday Fun. Our favourite jokes, funnies, and memes from around the web.","body":"","tags":[{"tag": {"id": 61, "slug": "words", "text": "Words", "created_at": "2024-03-22T10:53:55.670775+00:00", "updated_at": null}}, {"tag": {"id": 90, "slug": "education", "text": "Education", "created_at": "2024-04-05T15:34:08.736806+00:00", "updated_at": null}}]}, {"id":8730,"author":"86aa90b0-ea3d-4b17-8ff0-835ec1a7b079","created_at":"2024-09-13T20:36:44.590801+00:00","updated_at":"2024-09-13T20:37:01.424+00:00","text":"Exam Answers! 😀","image":"42c1306c-053f-41c4-ae2c-d6d171a86b70.jpg","slug":"exam-answers-%f0%9f%98%80","date":"2024-09-14","image_width":960,"image_height":536,"meta_title":"Friday Fun • Exam Answers! 😀","meta_description":"Exam Answers! 😀 • Our favourite jokes, funnies, and memes from around the web. If they make us laugh, they're here!","body":"

Exam answers. No one could invent these, they must be genuine!

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Ancient Egypt was old. It was inhabited by gypsies and mummies who all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert. The climate of the Sarah is such that all the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.
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Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients.
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Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandos. He died before he ever reached Canada but his commandos made it.
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Solomon had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines.
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The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn’t have history. The Greeks also had myths.
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Socrates was a famous old Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. He later died from an overdose of wedlock which is poisonous
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In the first Olympic games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled and threw the java. The games were messier then than they show on TV now.
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Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Dying, he gasped out “Same to you, Brutus.”
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Joan of Arc was burnt to a steak and was canonized by Bernard Shaw for reasons I don’t really understand. The English and French still have problems.
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Queen Elizabeth was the “Virgin Queen.” As a queen she was a success. When she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted “hurrah!” and that was the end of the fighting for a long while.
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It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented removable type and the Bible. Another important invention was the circulation of blood.
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Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes and started smoking. Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100 foot clipper which was very dangerous to all his men.
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The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies, comedies,and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter. Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Since then no one ever found it.
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Delegates from the original 13 states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of the Declaration of Independence. Franklin discovered electricity by rubbing two cats backward and also declared, “A horse divided against itself cannot stand.” He was a naturalist for sure. Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.
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Abraham Lincoln became America’s greatest Precedent. Lincoln’s Mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves by signing the Emasculation Proclamation. On the night of April 14, 1865, Lincoln went to the theater and got Shot in his seat by one of the actors in a moving picture show. They believe the assinator was John Wilkes Booth, a supposingly insa! ne actor. This ruined Booth’s career.
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Johann Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of children. In between he practiced on an old spinster which he kept up in his attic. Bach died from 1750 to the present. Bach was the most famous composer in the world and so was Handel. Handel was half German, half Italian, and half English. He was very large.
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Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf that he wrote loud music and became the father of rock and roll. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling for him. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died for this.
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The nineteenth century was a time of a great many thoughts and inventions. People stopped reproducing by hand and started reproducing by machine. The invention of the steamboat caused a network of rivers to spring up.
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Cyrus McCormick invented the McCormick raper, which did the work of a hundred men.
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Louis Pasteur discovered a cure for rabbits but I don’t know why.
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Charles Darwin was a naturalist. He wrote the Organ of the Species. It was very long and people got upset about it and had trials to see if it was really true. He sort of said God’s days were not just 24 hours but without watches who knew anyhow? I don’t get it.
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Madman Curie discovered radio. She was the first woman to do what she did. Other women have become scientists since her but they didn’t get to find radios because they were already taken.
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Karl Marx was one of the Marx Brothers. The other three were in the movies. Karl made speeches and started revolutions. Someone in the family had to have a real job, I guess.
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","tags":[{"tag": {"id": 90, "slug": "education", "text": "Education", "created_at": "2024-04-05T15:34:08.736806+00:00", "updated_at": null}}, {"tag": {"id": 442, "slug": "old-jokes", "text": "Old Jokes", "created_at": "2024-09-13T17:14:37.499999+00:00", "updated_at": null}}]}, {"id":8675,"author":"86aa90b0-ea3d-4b17-8ff0-835ec1a7b079","created_at":"2024-08-31T16:40:04.344772+00:00","updated_at":"2024-09-13T21:12:57.6+00:00","text":"Truant Notes! 😀","image":"ecc16bdd-4e18-481c-9d5f-2248e0109cfe.gif","slug":"truant-notes-%f0%9f%98%80","date":"2024-08-20","image_width":375,"image_height":202,"meta_title":"Friday Fun • Truant Notes! 😀","meta_description":"Truant Notes! 😀 • Friday Fun. Our favourite jokes, funnies, and memes from around the web. ","body":"

The following is a partial list of actual written excuses given to teachers in the Albuquerque Public School System by parents:

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Dear School: Please excuse John from being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.
Please excuse Dianne from being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.
Please excuse Johnnie for being. It was his father’s fault.
Chris will not be in school because he has an acre in his side.
John has been absent because he had two teeth taken off his face.
Excuse Gloria. She has been under the doctor.
Lillie was absent from school yesterday because she had a going over.
My son is under the doctor’s care and should not take fizical ed. Please execute him.
Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hit in the growing part.
My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent this weekend with the Marines.
Please excuse Joyce from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday she fell off a tree and misplaced her hip.
Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.
Maryann was absent Dec. 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache, and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low-grade fever. There must be the flu going around, her father even got hot last night.
Please excuse Blanche from jim today. She is administrating.
George was absent yesterday because he had a stomach.
Ralph was absent yesterday because he had a sore trout.
Please excuse Sara for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.
Please excuse Lupe. She is having problems with her ovals.
Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had diah (*crossed out*), diahoah (*crossed out*), dyah(*crossed out*) the shits

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","tags":[{"tag": {"id": 90, "slug": "education", "text": "Education", "created_at": "2024-04-05T15:34:08.736806+00:00", "updated_at": null}}, {"tag": {"id": 115, "slug": "parenting", "text": "Parenting", "created_at": "2024-04-05T15:39:02.529289+00:00", "updated_at": null}}, {"tag": {"id": 442, "slug": "old-jokes", "text": "Old Jokes", "created_at": "2024-09-13T17:14:37.499999+00:00", "updated_at": null}}]}, {"id":8674,"author":"86aa90b0-ea3d-4b17-8ff0-835ec1a7b079","created_at":"2024-08-31T16:37:25.229563+00:00","updated_at":null,"text":"Life after University! 😀","image":"2b6be1ea-5a84-4f42-a737-2e93adeb6f59.jpg","slug":"life-after-university-%f0%9f%98%80","date":"2024-08-20","image_width":640,"image_height":358,"meta_title":"Friday Fun • Life after University! 😀","meta_description":"Life after University! 😀 • Friday Fun. Our favourite jokes, funnies, and memes from around the web. ","body":"

Things that change when you leave ….

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6am is when you get up, not when you go to bed
Having sex in a single bed is absurd
You keep more food than beer in the fridge
You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time.
You don’t volunteer for clinical trials at the local hospital.
You know all of the people sleeping in your house.
You hear your favourite song in the lift at work.
Informative TV does not include Richard and Judy.
The bank manager doesn’t write threatening letters any more.
You carry an umbrella.
Seven-day benders are no longer realistic.
You don’t go to Tesco with all your friends.
You have standing orders and direct debits.
The heating works in your house.
Your friends marry and divorce instead of get together and break-up.
You pay the government thousands of pounds every year.
You go from 130 days of holidays to 20.
Jeans and a jumper no longer qualify as ‘dressed up’.
You’re the one calling the police because those damn kids next door won’t turn down the stereo.
You get out of bed in the morning even if it’s raining.
Washing up is not an annual ritual.
Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
You don’t know what time the kebab shop closes anymore.
Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
You feed your dog ‘Pal’ instead of McDonalds.
You don’t get ideas for drinks from local tramps.
You don’t put half-finished curries in the fridge to eat later.
You don’t spend half your day strategically planning pub crawls.
You “hate scrounging students”.
You no longer have a strange attraction to road signs when drunk.
Sleeping in the lounge is a no-no.
You can’t persuade your flatmates to ‘Drink till dawn’.
You don’t spend Wednesday afternoons in the pub.
You always know where you are when you wake up.
You no longer take naps from noon to 6 p.m.
A fire in the kitchen is not a laugh.
You go to the chemist for Panadol and antacids, not condoms and pregnancy test kits.
A £3 bottle of wine is no longer ‘pretty good stuff’.
You can remember the name of the person you wake up next to.
Your fantasies of having sex with three women with lesbian tendencies are replaced by fantasies of having sex with anyone.
You don’t have mice living in your kitchen.
Grocery lists are longer than pot noodles & cans of lager.
You don’t go to Liquor Save to buy Vodka.
You have vacuumed.
Breaking the law means doing 40 in a 30 zone.
‘I just can’t drink the way I used to’ replaces ‘I’m never going to drink that much again’.
Over 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
You don’t experiment with banned substances.
You don’t get drunk at home, to save money, before going to a pub.
Lunchtime is not ‘the morning’.

","tags":[{"tag": {"id": 33, "slug": "history", "text": "History", "created_at": "2024-02-05T18:12:42.141047+00:00", "updated_at": null}}, {"tag": {"id": 90, "slug": "education", "text": "Education", "created_at": "2024-04-05T15:34:08.736806+00:00", "updated_at": null}}]}, {"id":4346,"author":"5f9dbaae-a0a5-4532-90ea-4989e136ab64","created_at":"2024-04-22T17:41:33.771108+00:00","updated_at":"2024-06-22T08:48:21.772+00:00","text":"What do they teach us? 😀","image":"7287ae8d-b394-4aed-a199-8c1bae779de8.JPG","slug":"what-do-they-teach-us-%f0%9f%98%80","date":"2024-02-02","image_width":null,"image_height":null,"meta_title":null,"meta_description":null,"body":null,"tags":[{"tag": {"id": 90, "slug": "education", "text": "Education", "created_at": "2024-04-05T15:34:08.736806+00:00", "updated_at": null}}, {"tag": {"id": 128, "slug": "spelling", "text": "Spelling", "created_at": "2024-04-05T15:41:55.158908+00:00", "updated_at": null}}]}, {"id":8369,"author":"86aa90b0-ea3d-4b17-8ff0-835ec1a7b079","created_at":"2023-10-27T16:28:42+00:00","updated_at":null,"text":"True! 😀","image":"4183-education.jpg","slug":"true-%f0%9f%98%80","date":"2023-10-27","image_width":788,"image_height":721,"meta_title":null,"meta_description":null,"body":null,"tags":[{"tag": {"id": 90, "slug": "education", "text": "Education", "created_at": "2024-04-05T15:34:08.736806+00:00", "updated_at": null}}]}, {"id":8172,"author":"86aa90b0-ea3d-4b17-8ff0-835ec1a7b079","created_at":"2023-04-19T17:03:50+00:00","updated_at":null,"text":"Anyone else resort to this? 😀","image":"3979-science.jpg","slug":"anyone-else-resort-to-this-%f0%9f%98%80","date":"2023-04-19","image_width":678,"image_height":550,"meta_title":null,"meta_description":null,"body":null,"tags":[{"tag": {"id": 90, "slug": "education", "text": "Education", "created_at": "2024-04-05T15:34:08.736806+00:00", "updated_at": null}}, {"tag": {"id": 126, "slug": "science", "text": "Science", "created_at": "2024-04-05T15:41:43.269207+00:00", "updated_at": null}}]}, {"id":7769,"author":"86aa90b0-ea3d-4b17-8ff0-835ec1a7b079","created_at":"2022-04-16T08:41:01+00:00","updated_at":null,"text":"Bit ironic! 😀","image":"3558-fails.jpg","slug":"bit-ironic-%f0%9f%98%80-5","date":"2022-04-16","image_width":548,"image_height":623,"meta_title":null,"meta_description":null,"body":null,"tags":[{"tag": {"id": 27, "slug": "ironic", "text": "Ironic", "created_at": "2024-01-26T09:48:27.12892+00:00", "updated_at": null}}, {"tag": {"id": 45, "slug": "fails", "text": "Fails", "created_at": "2024-02-23T14:58:52.933515+00:00", "updated_at": null}}, {"tag": {"id": 90, "slug": "education", "text": "Education", "created_at": "2024-04-05T15:34:08.736806+00:00", "updated_at": null}}]}, {"id":7746,"author":"86aa90b0-ea3d-4b17-8ff0-835ec1a7b079","created_at":"2022-03-26T12:44:20+00:00","updated_at":null,"text":"He'll never know now! 🙁","image":"3531-science.jpg","slug":"hell-never-know-now-%f0%9f%99%81","date":"2022-03-26","image_width":754,"image_height":669,"meta_title":null,"meta_description":null,"body":null,"tags":[{"tag": {"id": 90, "slug": "education", "text": "Education", "created_at": "2024-04-05T15:34:08.736806+00:00", "updated_at": null}}, {"tag": {"id": 126, "slug": "science", "text": "Science", "created_at": "2024-04-05T15:41:43.269207+00:00", "updated_at": null}}]}, {"id":7694,"author":"86aa90b0-ea3d-4b17-8ff0-835ec1a7b079","created_at":"2022-03-02T15:47:20+00:00","updated_at":null,"text":"What do you think? 😀","image":"3477-education.jpg","slug":"what-do-you-think-%f0%9f%98%80","date":"2022-03-02","image_width":600,"image_height":531,"meta_title":null,"meta_description":null,"body":null,"tags":[{"tag": {"id": 90, "slug": "education", "text": "Education", "created_at": "2024-04-05T15:34:08.736806+00:00", "updated_at": null}}]}, {"id":7599,"author":"86aa90b0-ea3d-4b17-8ff0-835ec1a7b079","created_at":"2022-01-14T13:22:24+00:00","updated_at":null,"text":"Meanwhile education in the UK unaffected! 🙂","image":"3376-alcohol-signs-education.jpg","slug":"meanwhile-education-in-the-uk-unaffected-%f0%9f%99%82","date":"2022-01-14","image_width":362,"image_height":514,"meta_title":null,"meta_description":null,"body":null,"tags":[{"tag": {"id": 25, "slug": "signs", "text": "Signs", "created_at": "2024-01-26T09:46:21.905346+00:00", "updated_at": null}}, {"tag": {"id": 68, "slug": "alcohol", "text": "Alcohol", "created_at": "2024-03-28T16:26:12.980066+00:00", "updated_at": null}}, {"tag": {"id": 90, "slug": "education", "text": "Education", "created_at": "2024-04-05T15:34:08.736806+00:00", "updated_at": null}}]}, {"id":7558,"author":"86aa90b0-ea3d-4b17-8ff0-835ec1a7b079","created_at":"2021-12-30T12:22:23+00:00","updated_at":null,"text":"Back to school with you! 🙄","image":"3331-education.jpg","slug":"back-to-school-with-you-%f0%9f%99%84","date":"2021-12-30","image_width":442,"image_height":518,"meta_title":null,"meta_description":null,"body":null,"tags":[{"tag": {"id": 90, "slug": "education", "text": "Education", "created_at": "2024-04-05T15:34:08.736806+00:00", "updated_at": null}}]}, {"id":7429,"author":"86aa90b0-ea3d-4b17-8ff0-835ec1a7b079","created_at":"2021-10-22T16:49:07+00:00","updated_at":null,"text":"I beg to differ! 😀","image":"3197-typos-education-ironic.jpg","slug":"i-beg-to-differ-%f0%9f%98%80","date":"2021-10-22","image_width":793,"image_height":595,"meta_title":null,"meta_description":null,"body":null,"tags":[{"tag": {"id": 27, "slug": "ironic", "text": "Ironic", "created_at": "2024-01-26T09:48:27.12892+00:00", "updated_at": null}}, {"tag": {"id": 67, "slug": "typos", "text": "Typos", "created_at": "2024-03-28T16:16:34.921657+00:00", "updated_at": null}}, {"tag": {"id": 90, "slug": "education", "text": "Education", "created_at": "2024-04-05T15:34:08.736806+00:00", "updated_at": null}}]}, {"id":7411,"author":"86aa90b0-ea3d-4b17-8ff0-835ec1a7b079","created_at":"2021-10-15T13:02:47+00:00","updated_at":null,"text":"Love it when that happens! 😃","image":"3178-education.jpg","slug":"love-it-when-that-happens-%f0%9f%98%83","date":"2021-10-15","image_width":656,"image_height":567,"meta_title":null,"meta_description":null,"body":null,"tags":[{"tag": {"id": 62, "slug": "kids", "text": "Kids", "created_at": "2024-03-26T14:44:02.268726+00:00", "updated_at": null}}, {"tag": {"id": 90, "slug": "education", "text": "Education", "created_at": "2024-04-05T15:34:08.736806+00:00", "updated_at": null}}]}, {"id":7372,"author":"86aa90b0-ea3d-4b17-8ff0-835ec1a7b079","created_at":"2021-09-29T16:41:05+00:00","updated_at":null,"text":"Yep - perfect answer! 😀","image":"3136-education-science.jpg","slug":"yep-perfect-answer-%f0%9f%98%80","date":"2021-09-29","image_width":749,"image_height":632,"meta_title":null,"meta_description":null,"body":null,"tags":[{"tag": {"id": 90, "slug": "education", "text": "Education", "created_at": "2024-04-05T15:34:08.736806+00:00", "updated_at": null}}, {"tag": {"id": 126, "slug": "science", "text": "Science", "created_at": "2024-04-05T15:41:43.269207+00:00", "updated_at": null}}]}, {"id":7358,"author":"86aa90b0-ea3d-4b17-8ff0-835ec1a7b079","created_at":"2021-09-17T11:44:55+00:00","updated_at":null,"text":"Anyone remember Grants? 😀","image":"3121-Education.jpg","slug":"anyone-remember-grants-%f0%9f%98%80","date":"2021-09-17","image_width":583,"image_height":539,"meta_title":null,"meta_description":null,"body":null,"tags":[{"tag": {"id": 90, "slug": "education", "text": "Education", "created_at": "2024-04-05T15:34:08.736806+00:00", "updated_at": null}}]}, {"id":7355,"author":"86aa90b0-ea3d-4b17-8ff0-835ec1a7b079","created_at":"2021-09-17T11:27:20+00:00","updated_at":null,"text":"Yep, that's true! 😀","image":"3118-history-education.jpg","slug":"yep-thats-true-%f0%9f%98%80","date":"2021-09-17","image_width":526,"image_height":634,"meta_title":null,"meta_description":null,"body":null,"tags":[{"tag": {"id": 33, "slug": "history", "text": "History", "created_at": "2024-02-05T18:12:42.141047+00:00", "updated_at": null}}, {"tag": {"id": 90, "slug": "education", "text": "Education", "created_at": "2024-04-05T15:34:08.736806+00:00", "updated_at": null}}]}, {"id":7342,"author":"86aa90b0-ea3d-4b17-8ff0-835ec1a7b079","created_at":"2021-09-15T17:46:47+00:00","updated_at":null,"text":"So there WAS a reason! 😃","image":"3105-genius.jpg","slug":"so-there-was-a-reason-%f0%9f%98%83","date":"2021-09-15","image_width":553,"image_height":529,"meta_title":null,"meta_description":null,"body":null,"tags":[{"tag": {"id": 46, "slug": "genius", "text": "Genius", "created_at": "2024-02-23T14:59:02.512958+00:00", "updated_at": null}}, {"tag": {"id": 90, "slug": "education", "text": "Education", "created_at": "2024-04-05T15:34:08.736806+00:00", "updated_at": null}}]}, {"id":7333,"author":"86aa90b0-ea3d-4b17-8ff0-835ec1a7b079","created_at":"2021-08-27T15:45:32+00:00","updated_at":null,"text":"2021 update to Silver Service place settings! 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